However, ask them what makes a good listener, and they might find the request a bit more challenging. At least, that’s what Kate Murphy, author of You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters, found in her research. So what makes a good listener? By listening, you’re learning and when you’re learning, you’re absorbing precious information. “So really, you’re motivating yourself to listen.”Know yourselfDoing a good job of listening to others means slowing down and listening to yourself first.